Yesterday, I gave away the store. Yes, I admit it and so should you. The kids come first. If the new boyfriend doesn't get along with the kids, the boyfriend will usually be out the door relatively soon. The boyfriend says a slightly unkind word to your little darling and your bared fangs and 3 inch nails suddenly appear on scene. Another lovely visual. The girlfriend tries to correct the little angel and I believe the words, "You're outta here" may be heard emanating through the aforementioned blood dripping fangs. If you are a really patient sort, you might hold out till the second attempted correction, then break out the snarls and pick axe. Of course, I am presuming your child is not so wretchedly spoiled that anything she says is said while she is flat on the floor, arms and legs flailing, screaming "You don't love me. You never have. Mom has always loved me more." And, of course, Mom has given her whatever she wants, whenever she wants, leading to the tantrum we are all now visualizing with horror and a lot of familiarity.

I think the point is made. We try to give our kids what they need and a lot of what they want. By doing that, we leave enough for ourselves but not much more. The eight to fiver won't allow it. So the idea of having extra money to hold out till the dream job starts paying gets a little more distant on the horizon. Wait, the sun has set. It's dark. There is no horizon. Hey, who's that on the floor screaming?

The current job makes just enough to do what we MUST do, maybe a little less. If a little less, then we slowly get in to, (O God, here it comes) debt. We inch ourselves into yards and yards of debt. But look on the bright side. The banks are happy. You feeling better yet? Maybe tomorrow. There's always tomorrow. Until there isn't.

Manana.

To continue. One of the big problems is money. It always is. If there isn't extra money floating around, the possibility of moving on to what you really want to do is virtually impossible. I suppose some might say you could cut expenses. But with a family or, at least some familial responsibilities, there are those expenses that eat up pretty much everything. Maybe you're on your own but there was a divorce or a child. Nothing like an ex-spouse to keep the money flowing...away.

As for your child, at any age, yours or his, you want to help that child and that cost is unlimited. My child is perfect. The tattoos and piercings are invisible to me. My child deserves everything and without reservation. Example. There are some possessions you guard with your life. There are these certain "things" that are MINE. No one else can have them. OK, look at them from afar but move away, you're getting too close. Those things for me are vinyl records and fine pieces of sound equipment. I have dragged 17 very heavy boxes of vinyl wherever my life has led me. The wives have come and gone, but vinyl lasts forever. It never complains. It's always there to comfort you with the soothing sounds of the White Album or early Joni Mitchell. My God, what more could a man ask for in his life.

Anyway, the vinyl is really important to me. BUT. My 21 year old son walks in and tells me how much he loves music, that he appreciates all that vinyl I've been lugging around. He knows what a pain it's been to load up more U-Hauls than I care to remember with box after back breaking box of albums by artists that were unheard of in '68 and remain consistently unheard of today. What treasures! My son goes on to say that he realizes I would have given up all claim to the house in my most recent divorce had the wife gone for the vinyl. Knowing that, he says, "Dad, can I have all your records?" Without blinking, without breathing one more time, I say, "Bring your truck on Sunday and we'll load'em up." The torch has been passed.

More to complete this thought manana.

"Do what you love and the money will follow." I love that phrase. It may be true or may not be. But the real problem is that there is a big spread between the time you decide to do what you love to the time the money has followed. Such a lovely phrase it is, but unrealistic in many cases. Not all, but many. In fact, I would say the great majority. Yes, it can be done but incredible self discipline would be the first order of the day. Why? Because if you have a job, you will be doing that for 8 hours a day to pay the bills and, o yeah, eat. Do you have a family? After work, you'll need to pay attention to them. By the time 8pm rolls around, my guess is you are ready to lay on the sofa and pass out. But, no, you're just getting started because you have to work on your new job, the one that you love, because the money will follow. At the end of a few weeks, the odds are, you will begin rationalizing the old job and you will get to the dream work as you can, when you can, when there's a little more money, when the kids are asleep, when you win the lottery, when the divorce is final, when the kids are in college or just out, when you retire and, finally, when the dog is dead, that dead dog being you. In other words, you and your life have killed the dream job.

Let me go on a bit as to why doing what you love etc. faces such obstacles. Then I believe, just maybe I can lay out what could work. You thought I was just going to leave you hanging, no hope, noose in hand, gun with 1 bullet, Kurt Cobain playing in the background. I wouldn't do that to you.